Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Up late Update

Not much to post. I've been too busy. 27 patients tomorrow, two procedures, two new OB's. I'm getting tired of running at full speed. I've taken to listening to music on my Blackberry when I drive to and from work. It helps me stay calm. I am back eating healthy again (and have the three pound weight loss to prove it). Can't find time to exercise but I am trying to be content with just getting back on track with my food. Trying to get my eight hours of sleep every night. I can tell the stress is getting to me because I am having a hard time sleeping. I am having vivid dreams and nightmares. And my neck and shoulders hurt all night. Usually a good sign that I am way too stressed.

I did have a wonderful weekend relaxing at Catalina Island with my brother and his wife. Spent Sunday in the mountains with friends. My soul needed that. I'm trying to realize that I have to change my expectations. My schedule isn't going to get better, patients will always come in with lots of problems on their annual exams. I need to stop getting frustrated about both of those. It's just the way work is right now. I'm trying to find the little joys in my day.

For instance: today my student saw all the patients for the morning. She is doing fantastic. I am having to give less and less direction. Today she inserted her first IUD and was so proud of herself. My postpartum mom was beaming and showing off her adorable baby girl. It was so great to share in her joy. I had a patient who is ready to address her weight issues and signed up for a weight management program. I had a great new OB couple who are from Russia and one from Mexico. I love having the telephone translation line. We got our next shipment of H1N1 vaccines so we can finish vaccinating our moms. We laughed so hard at lunch I had tears in my eyes (gallows humor, but a great stress reliever none the less).

This picture is of a flower that was growing by the side walk in Catalina. It reminds me to grow where I am planted.  For now anyway, that's what I am trying to do.


Paula said...

Dear MM,
I can't recall how many years you have had this job. Am I right in thinking that it is less than 2 years? Perhaps the honeymoon period is over. Your kind voice comes through with each post, but it is clear that you are being squeezed.

15 minutes of walking makes a difference to my chemistry under stress. I have no idea how I would get that in in your shoes. Just thinking. Or if you are so inclined, some music after dinner... and a little dancing?

Movement releases my burdens. This past year, I took care of my mom as she died. I'm very happy that I did that, and it has shaken me in a good way. I have let go of many of my volunteer obligations. I am doing far less. I place the priority on my work with mothers, and my own motherhood, as well as coping with living with my husbands parents.

Enough about me! Way to grow where you are planted. That is a great saying.

Tiffany said...

Time to go back to birthing babies, not that that doesn't come with its own stressors!

Lct4j said...

I know you're doing the best you can, and that's all that's expected of you. I'm sure your days are very long and busy. But know that your patients benefit greatly from your devotion and the seeds of kindness and care that you're sowing will bloom into beautiful things one day when you're least expecting it. The difficulties will pay off. It sounds like the Lord is enabling you to grow in long-suffering and depending on him. Humbling, isn't it?Keep up your good work.